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The Leery´s front yard.
The weather is windy and cold. 'Very Christmassy', Joey thinks to herself as
she exists the old truck and she approaches the house. Dawson’s house.
Who else? She tightens her coat around her and climbs the few steps that lead
her to the porch and to the main door. She lets out a deep sigh and then puts
a big grin on her face as she knocks on the door. Almost immediately, it is
flung open.
"Hey," Dawson seems very happy to see her, a smile spreading across
his face.
"Hey," she greets back, offering him a bright grin in return. "I’m
coming here… on an confirming mission," she says and Dawson chuckles.
"Cool. Wanna come inside to confirm whatever it is? It’s cold outside,"
he asks, as he steps aside and opens the door even more, leaving room for her
to step in. Joey seems to doubt for a moment. "Lily and I are watching
some movies," he offers, as an attempt to convince her. But the effect
is the opposite. She takes it as an excuse not to enter the house and face what
she knows she will have to face eventually: the kiss. A kiss is never just a
kiss, and specially not in Capeside. And specially not between her and Dawson.
It never was, and it never will be.
"No, I better not," she replies, wrinkling her nose and shaking her
head. "I need to head back to the B&B to help. I just decided to make
a round to confirm that everybody is coming for dinner. You know, Bessie and
Boddie are going mad with this whole, and huge let me add, Christmas dinner.
Their first one as a married couple or whatever," Joey says, rolling her
eyes and causing Dawson to laugh. "So I’m just making sure that everything
is okay and everybody is ready for tonight."
"Yeah, you already told me that," Dawson just wriggles his brows.
"Ever heard of a phone, by the way?"
Joey narrows her eyes and twists her mouth, "Yeah. That’s the Christmas
spirit, Dawson," to which he laughs.
"Are you sure you don’t wanna come in, even for a while?" he
asks. They have been hanging in New York every now and then, and even did the
promised Christmas shopping together. Everything was fine between them back
there. But it seems as if coming back to Capeside revives… things that
they were able to put aside in the big city. A big city that allows them to
pretend that they are maybe different people, with no issues to face. Whatever.
Just one day in Capeside and it seems like masks start falling all around.
"Nah," she sakes her head once more. "Maybe later."
"Okay," he says, shrugging his shoulders, not wanting to pursue her.
"Okay," she agrees nodding her head. Then she sighs, smiling at him.
"Well, I better go then. Remember, the best Christmas ever is waiting for
you at the Potter Bed and Breakfast!" she exclaims as if she was doing
a TV commercial or something. Dawson laughs.
(Music of the credits start playing)
"I’m sure of that," he says and they look at each other for
a brief, but at the same time long, moment. However, neither one of them says
what they want to say.
"See ya, Dawson."
"See ya, Joey."
She nods her head once more, biting her lips in a small smile, and then turns
around and walks to the truck.
Dawson watches her walk away. Joey gets into the truck, turns on the engine
and they wave goodbye to each other when Joey is ready to leave. The car leaves
the Leery´s property as Dawson follows it with his gaze. After that, he
closes the door slowly.
OPENING CREDITS
The Potter’s backyard
After her round of confirmations (well actually, she only had to go to the
Witter’s and Jack’s), Joey arrives back to the Potter B&B. She
stops in the yard, turns off the engine and sighs.
‘Chicken’ she scolds herself, going back in her mind to her meeting
with Dawson earlier.
She rests in the driver’s seat and closes her eyes, passing a hand over
her face.
‘I can’t do it. I can’t go inside that house and tell him
that I wanna be with him. I can’t’
Still sitting in there, her arms extended as she is grabbing the steel wheel,
she looks over her pier to Dawson’s house. So close, but yet so far.
‘And you know why you can’t do that? Because he wouldn’t
believe it? How could he?’
She remembers his words in the car, not so long ago, when she received the
call from Chris...'And now the triangle becomes a square.' And he was right.
‘First Chris, but you left him to go back to Pacey. Then, you leave Pacey
and now what? Go back to Dawson?’
She sighs again.
"My therapist is so gonna love this," she says to the empty family
truck. Then she finally steps out of it as Audrey comes out through the front
door of the house.
"Hey, Joey!. Good morning!"
"Good morning?" Joey can’t help but laugh. "Audrey, it's
almost noon."
"Yeah I know, I overslept a little today," she says casually, shrugging
her shoulders.
"Yeah, just a little," Joey teases her. "And where are you going
now?"
"I’m going to Jack’s. I wanna check on him because he seems
to be down and all that, you know. And Andie and I are doing some last minute
shopping after lunch. I think I’m a bad influence for the girl. We’ll
be back in time for the Christmas dinner, of course," Audrey says, winking
at her. "Wanna come?"
"No, I've got things to do," Joey says, shaking her head lightly.
"Is everything okay?" Audrey asks, suddenly sounding concerned. Joey
looks at her innocently.
"Yeah, everything is fine. Just a little stressed with work and stuff,
you know," Joey replies, waving her hands as resting importance to the
matter. Audrey just stares intensely at her.
"Are you sure?"
Joey grins and nods her head. Audrey raises her eyebrows.
"Okay then," she sighs "See you later, bunny."
Joey smiles at her amused. Seems like she will be Audrey’s 'bunny' for
the rest of her life.
"Later, Audrey," she waves her goodbye as Audrey heads off to her
own car.
Then Joey opens the door of the house and is welcomed by a warm wave of heat
and the smell of the food being cooked. As she said to Audrey, there are a lot
of things to do still.
The Potter’s backyard, later that day
"Bring enough food, Mom?" Dawson laughs as he gets out of the van
and takes a dish from Gale. "I do think Bodie may have cooked something
up for Christmas dinner."
"I tried to stop her," Gale's husband, John, breaks in. "But
she just kept on baking. And I, of course, was her willing taste tester."
"And I frosted the cookies!" Lilly calls out as she runs past Gale,
John, and Dawson and rings the doorbell of the Potter B&B.
"Hi, everyone," Joey answers the door.
"Hi," Lily bounds past her and into the house to search for Alex.
"How are you, sweetie?" Gale hugs Joey. "Don't you look pretty."
"Thanks," Joey blushes a little at the compliment. "So do you."
"John," Joey gives him a small hug. Though she spent Thanksgiving
with him, Joey has never really had a real discussion with John. It's still
a little weird sometimes when she looks up and sees him when she's expecting
Mitch. But John is a decent man and she wants to get to know him better.
"We should get all this food set up," Gale walks into the foyer.
"I'll take that." John reaches for the dish that Dawson is still carrying.
Now it's Dawson and Joey alone on the porch.
"So…," Dawson begins.
"So…"
"The place looks great," Dawson says as he glances at the holly and
garland decorating the porch.
The sound of crunching snow and laughter attracts their attention. They see
Grams carefully navigating the path to the B&B, trailed by a giggling Andie
and Audrey. Jack is taking Amy out of her car seat.
"For real?" Andie giggles.
"Yeah." Audrey laughs. "No joke. There we were, outside of this
club in L. A., and Pacey´s pants are undone and he's about to be arrested
for public urination."
"Gross. Then what happened?"
"Well, these were the beginnings of my less than sober days and I'd had
a little too much to drink. So I told the officer that wherever Pacey went,
I went to, so he'd just have to arrest me, too. The cop said that I hadn't done
anything wrong so he had no reason to arrest me. Now, keep in mind I was drunk.
So I told him that I had done something wrong. I told him that I was a prostitute."
"No way!" Andie laughs as they make their way up the steps. "Did
you guys get arrested?"
"Nah," Audrey dismisses the notion with a wave of her hand. "The
cop got a call about a real crime and left us there. All because Pacey refused
to use the men's room."
("Snow day" by Lisa Loeb starts playing in the background)
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," Grams smirks as they all meet Dawson
and Joey on the porch.
"Hey, guys!" Joey greets them as they all exchanged hugs.
"I'll take Amy," Grams says as she lifts the child out of Jack's arms.
"She's probably overheated in her snowsuit."
"Thanks," Jack casually leans against the porch railing.
It´s a bad day
It's a train ride.
It's a bad day.
You're my medicine
"Oh, more people!" Audrey claps her gloved hands together and squeals
in delight as the Witter's file out of their station wagon.
"Thank you so much for inviting us, JoAnn," Mrs. Witter gushes as
she and Mr. Witter pass everyone and make their way into the house.
"At least she's consistent," Pacey shrugs as he consumed playfully
by greetings from both Andie and Audrey. Joey just rolls her eyes but can’t
help but smile.
It's a snow day.
It's a full moon.
It's a snow day.
"Dougie!" Joey hugs Doug. "It's good to see you again."
"You too, JoAnn," he says as he elbows her a bit. "You know,
I never get a chance to catch up with you, JoAnn."
"Doug," Pacey interrupts. "It's getting old."
When'd you get down to my bones?
Where'll I find that wishing stone?
The beads, the records,
all the calls, and the drinks alone.
"Gretchen!" Dawson bounds down the porch steps to meet her. "What
are you doing here?" he exclaims.
"Not very glad to see me, huh?" she says as she opens her arms to
him.
"Oh yes, I am," he laughs. "You look wonderful," he says
as he sweeps her up into a hug.
"You don't look too bad yourself," Gretchen laughs as he finally releases
her but keeps one arm casually slung about her waist.
First by mind, then by music
you'll make this all less confusing.
It's a slow dive down,
a fast distraction,
a strange fall forward
my lame reaction.
Joey looks upon the scene in surprise. Gretchen was the last person that she
expected to see today. Why didn't anyone tell her? Still, Joey attempts to keep
her face neutral.
"Something wrong, Potter?" Pacey asks. His back is turned from everyone
else, so he doesn't see what could be bothering her.
It's a bad day.
It's a long ride.
It s a bad day.
You're my medicine
Before Joey even has a chance to make up an excuse, a snowball flies by and
hits Pacey square on the back of his head. Joey opens and covers her mouth in
a silent laughter of surprise, her eyes open wide.
Andie's laugh identifies her as the perpetrator.
"You're gonna regret that!" Pacey shouts as he jumps the porch railing
and scoops up a handful of snow and lops it in Andie's direction. Unfortunately,
he misses his target when Andie graciously turns around quicker than he expected
her to.
It's a sinking feeling,
pulls me through the seat of chairs.
When will you come rescue me,
find solace, and then take me there?
"Aghh!" Doug, who was coming behind Andie to greet her is the one
who is hit. He wipes the snow out of his face and glares at his brother, but
you can see the laughter in his eyes. "You're dead, little brother,"
he exclaims as he bows down to catch some snow to throw at him.
Everyone laughs and take positions to join in on the snowball fight. Pacey immediately
finds himself double-teamed by Audrey and Andie. Jack throws snowballs in all
directions and is joined by Gretchen, Doug, Dawson and Joey.
You'll say, "You re not too tired for this life,
and it's not gonna matter if you fall down twice.
You're not too tired for this life, and
it's not gonna matter if you fall down twice. "
Dawson gets hit in the chest from a snowball Doug sent speeding his way. With
revenge in mind, Dawson grabs a fistful of snow and takes a giant step back,
ready to throw. Before he even knows what happened, he finds himself on the
ground. Well, not on the ground, on top of Joey, his legs tangled in hers.
They freeze for a moment, both unwilling and unable to move. Joey can feel her
cheeks tinge crimson as her gaze is chained to Dawson’s.
When' d you get down to my bones?
Where' ll I find that wishing stone?
The beads, the records,
all the calls, and the drinks alone.
Dawson manages to bring himself to his feet and extends a hand to Joey. Grateful,
she takes it and allows Dawson to help her to her feet.
"Sorry about that," Dawson says. They can only smile diminutive smiles.
Joey nods her head. "No problem." Tension is clearly in the air but
just then… A snowball hits her without mercy.
It's a bad day.
2 miles to go.
"Hey!" she yells in the direction of where the snowball came from
and she soon regrets it as another snowball almost hits her.
It's a bad day.
You're my medicine.
Someone takes her hand and makes her run for cover. She turns around and realizes
it's Dawson. She smiles to herself. Of course it's him.
"You’re gonna regret that, Jack!" Dawson yells at their friend,
who was the one who threw the offensive snowball.
You'll say, "you're not too tired for this life,
And it's not gonna matter if you fall down twice
"You won’t say that to my face," he yells, but then he is hit
by more snow, this time coming from Audrey.
"Ten points!" she yells, raising her arms in victory.
You're not too tired for this life,
And it's not gonna matter if you fall down twice. "
Dawson and Joey are behind one of the cars now, watching everybody fight, run,
laugh, fall and get up again.
You're my medicine.
You're my medicine.
And it's not gonna matter if you fall down twice
And it's not gonna matter if you fall down twice
"I'll take the left and you take the right. What do you say?" Dawson
asks her, looking at her with a mischievous smile.
You're my medicine.
You're my medicine.
"I say…," she says as she grabs some snow, "LET´S
GO FOR IT!!!"
And the two of them step out of their refuge, as accorded, throwing snowballs
in all directions, joining the rest of the group in the fun. As they keep on
going, laughing and fighting, the camera goes up and we can see the whole group
from above still playing around.
It’s a long ride.
Later in the Potter´s house.
"Here," Dawson hands Lily the last ball that needed to be hung on
the Potter’s Christmas tree and she obediently hangs it, with his help,
high on the tree. Then the two of them stepped back to watch it. Truth be told,
the tree seems to be a little overdecorated. But it had been Joey’s idea
that everyone would bring some Christmas decorations to place all around the
house and on the tree, so it would look more like home for everybody.
"It looks nice," Lily says. "And I really like the angel,"
she adds, pointing to the little blond angel that is now resting on the top
of the Christmas tree.
"That is your angel, you know," Dawson tells her with a smile on his
face that Lily returns.
"It is?" she asks, sensing that her usual Christmas story is coming
her way.
"Wanna hear about it?" he asks, knowing what the answer will be. Lily
nods her head and flops herself on the sofa. "Okay," Dawson says,
and sits down next to her. She cuddles in his arms fussily. Dawson smiles.
"When Mom and Dad found out you were coming into this world…"
"I was such a surprise, wasn’t I?" Lily asks giggling.
Dawson laughs. "Yes, you can say that. You created quite a shock, actually."
Lily just giggles some more.
"Well, when they knew about you, Dad was immediately taken with the idea.
So when they finally made up their minds about it and decided that you being
born was the best news ever..." he says, leaning towards her and pressing
his finger to the tip of her nose, making her wrinkle it and push his hand away
playfully, "Dad wanted to do something really special about it. He kept
saying that you were going to be the angel in the family, and he was convinced
that you were going to be a girl. So it was Christmas, and he went to this Christmas
store. And we were shopping around, and suddenly he came to Mom and me with
his eyes sparkling and saying that he had found the perfect present for you.
And he showed us that angel," Dawson says, pointing to the angel on the
tree. "He said that it would watch over you each Christmas and that he
was going to start this tradition of the father lifting the daughter to put
the angel on top each year," he can’t help but look over to the angle
with a contemplative look on his face as he says that. Lily looks over to it
as well, with a smile on her face.
"And tell me about the time you two smoked a cigar in the treehouse that
is in our backyard, while Mom was having the baby party," Lily asks, grinning
widely.
Dawson chuckles. "That was fun. I didn’t even light it, but it made
me feel…good. To be there, sharing that with my father."
Lily smiles at him and leans on his chest, resting her head on it as Dawson
passes an arm around her little shoulders and keeps on going with the little
stories about Mitch that he knows she loves to hear. As he promised his father,
his daughter knows who he was, and he is glad to keep that promise year after
year.
"And there he was. He hadn’t heard me go down the stairs, so he was
totally unaware that I was there listening. It was late at night and he was
just there in his pyjamas. He had you in his arms and was whispering sweet nothings
to you while rocking you to sleep. He would caress your cheek and kiss your
forehead every now and then. I think I had never seen him being that sweet to
anyone. You know, he loved me and he hugged me a lot when I was a child, but
it was different because I was a boy. But you wouldn’t believe the things
he would say to you," he laughed and Lily laughed along with him, trying
to remember the touch of a father that was so long gone.
Dawson kisses the top of her head, and just as his father had looked down to
Lily so sweetly years ago, so he was looking down to her now. But this time,
Joey was the silent and involuntary witness of the moment exchanged between
Dawson and his sister. She was about to turn around and leave when Lily spots
her.
"Hey, Joey," she said dreamingly, Dawson’s arms still wrapped
around her lovingly.
"Hey," Joey mouthed more that said, smiling at her. Then her gaze
met Dawson in the dim light of the room bathed only by the fireplace.
"Sorry. We kinda camped in here without worrying if you guys might need
our help on something or whatever," Dawson said, starting to straighten
up on the sofa, as if to stay on his feet. But Joey quickly stops him.
"No, no. It's okay. No problem at all. I was coming exactly for the same
reason...to see if you needed any help. It’s okay. You can stay here for
as long as…"
But her words were cut by Alex, who comes in looking for Lily.
"Lily, let’s go outside. My mom and your mom gave us permission to
make angels in the snow!" he says excitedly.
Lily’s gaze diverts to the angel on the Christmas tree and then goes to
Dawson, who smiles at her and nods his head. Lily smiles even wider and then
trots out of the room, following Alex.
The room seems to be empty now, as only Dawson and Joey remain there. Just like
that, though, Dawson makes room on the sofa for her. And without a word, Joey
sits there.
"Hey," he says.
"Hey," she mutters, smiling at him. "That was really sweet,"
she says.
"You think?" he asks, mildly embarrassed.
Joey just nods her head and smiles a little more to him.
The Potter´s main room
We can hear Andie’s laughter mingling with Gretchen's as Audrey ends
her latest Pacey story.
"And I swear everything I said is true!" she finishes it, nodding
her head vigorously.
"And I believe you!" Andie replies, still laughing.
"You know? This is starting to lose its appeal. That is, if it ever had
any," Pacey complains with a drink in his hand, just like the rest of the
group.
"Poor Pacey," Gretchen pouts at him and Pacey mockingly glares at
her with his eyes narrowed. "I agree that hearing the most embarrassing
moments of your life coming from two ex-girlfriends may not be that fun,"
she aggress with him but laughs just the same.
"Oh, yes. But they can thank the heavens above, because I am a gentleman
and I’m not telling theirs. Like that day in L.A, when Ms. Bimbo here
entered this shop pretending she was…"
"Oh, shut up! Shut up!" Audrey exclaims, hitting him with her hand
repeatedly and everybody laughs as Pacey tries to shield himself.
"And speaking of L.A, how come you’re not spending your Christmas
there? Did your parents make an excuse about them not being home so you wouldn’t
go or what?" Pacey jokes. But as soon as he sees Audrey’s face, he
regrets his words.
"Actually, it’s true that they’re not home," she says,
shrugging her shoulders casually. "They went on a cruise. They asked me
to go with them, but I declined. I mean, who wants to be on a cruise filled
with old people singing carols and reminiscing about times you've never heard
about?" and with that, she sips some of her coke.
Pacey sends her a sympathetic look and is about to say something when Andie
interrupts.
"You’re right!", she says emphatically, "and I toast to
that," she adds, raising her glass.
"Me, too!" Gretchen joins her quickly.
"Me, too!" Pacey adds as Audrey toast with her drink too, nodding
her head.
"It’s just like in the hospital. I love it there, but I swear, each
one of those work cocktail parties, or whatever you want to call them, that
they organize from time to time just kill me. I swear it’s true that I
love my job, but I dedicate almost twenty-four hours a day to it. So when I’m
not working, I just wanna stop talking about it, you know? But put two doctors
in a room, and you won’t be able to escape the medical talk."
"I’m not hearing what I’m hearing," Pacey says, looking
at her incredibly.
Andie returns his gaze with an inquiring face. "What do you mean?"
"I mean the compulsive, perfectionist Andie who could not stop studying,
even if her life depended on it, can actually break free from her doctorate
and not think about work in her free time?" he asks, faking a shocked expression.
Andie just narrows her eyes.
"You know what, Pacey? Believe it or not, I know how to loosen up now,"
she says, lifting her chin half defiantly, half joking.
"I’ll believe it when I see it," he retorts back, a mischievous
smile on his face.
"Okay, okay! It’s Christmas, so let’s keep the Christmas spirit,"
Gretchen says raising her hands as Audrey watched the exchange with attention,
her gaze diverting from one to another.
Andie sticks her tongue out to Pacey and he laughs.
"So what about you, Gretchen?" Audrey inquires.
"What about me?" she asks, smiling at Audrey.
"Well, we´ve heard about me. We know more than we ever needed to
about this guy here," she points to Pacey. "We know that Andie now
knows how to loosen up…"
"Thanks," Andie says.
"Whatever," Pacey replies.
"You’re welcome." Audrey’s continues, ignoring Pacey´s
protests. "But what about you? You have something to share?"
Gretchen feels everyone's eyes on her, so she feels as if she needs to say
something.
"Well, I’m working in the publicity department of a magazine, which
is what I always wanted and where I met my current boyfriend. And that’s
basically it," she says.
"That’s all?" Audrey asks, not quite believing it.
"Yeah, that’s all," Gretchen says, pretending not to notice
Pacey´s inquisitive gaze.
Back to the Potter’s dinning room
Dawson and Joey are still sitting on the sofa, right where we left them.
"Well, so here we are" she says, leaning comfortably against the back
of the sofa. "Another year that's almost gone."
"Yeah...same old, same old." Dawson agrees, leaning on the back of
the sofa just like her. Their postures mirror each other’s, which is something
that happens with them a lot, although they've never truly realized it.
"It’s been a weird year, hasn’t it? Well, the last few months
at least, right?" Joey asks, her gaze fixed on the lights on the tree.
"Yes, it has. I think I’m still getting used to everything that has
happened," Dawson replies, the look on his face as contemplative as hers.
"The best part of it has been you coming back to this side of the country,
though," Joey says turning to him with a warm look in her eyes. "I’ve
missed this. I’ve missed us." She smiles at him.
"Me, too." he replies, smiling back.
"I mean, being in New York with you is great, but being here makes it all
different. As if…it's more real, you know?"
"I know what you mean. Being here in Capeside brings back so many memories.
It’s almost like being back to the person you used to be," he says.
"And that can be both a good and a bad thing," she says, a pensive
expression on her face.
"Meaning that you may have the risk of being haunted by old ghosts? So
it's good because that way you can deal with them once and for all, but at the
same time it's bad because they can mislead you to the wrong conclusions?"
Dawson asks, looking at her inquiringly.
"Yeah, something like that. Scary, isn’t it?" Joey asks.
"Yeah." He agrees, nodding his head. "By the way, um...I’m
going back to L.A tomorrow," he drops the bomb.
"What? For how long?" she asks, surprised.
"Probably until New Year's. There are some things I need to fix with the
show."
"I thought you were taking a step back and all that?" she asks.
"And I did. Or I tried to at least. But I just can’t get myself unattached
from it that easily, you know? It’s our history after all."And he
is silent after that, as if he had said more than he wanted to.
"I’m just sorry that you have to leave after all the plans we had
made," Joey says disappointed. Dawson sighs.
"I know. That’s why I didn’t know how to tell you. I promise
to make up for it, alright?" he announces, smiling at her reassuringly.
"You better," she jokes, pushing him. The truth is, she had been looking
forward to that time with him, but oh well. She laughs when he pushes her back.
"Stop it!" and she moves away from his reach. They just look at each
other with big smiles in their faces.
("Believe in you" by Amanda Marshall starts playing in the background)
"Okay, I can’t take it anymore," Joey says all of a sudden.
"What?" Dawson asks puzzled as she stands up and goes to the Christmas
tree. She comes back with a present.
Somewhere there's a river
Looking for a stream
"Merry Christmas!" she beams as she hands him the wrapped box. Dawson
looks up at her and smiles before unwrapping it under her expecting gaze.
Somewhere there's a dreamer
Looking for a dream
"Oh, a cell phone," he says, holding the cell in front of him with
a funny look on his face.
Somewhere there's a drifter
Trying to find his way
"It’s not only a cell phone, but it's the cell phone of all cell
phones," Joey says. "It has a notebook incorporated, a web cam, it
can send and receive emails, take pictures… everything! It’s almost
a mini computer," she says excited. "That way you can communicate
much easier with the people you need to communicate with. You know, with your
job and all that." She ends her resume of the cell phone’s capacities
with a big grin.
Somewhere someone's waiting
To hear somebody say
"I thought you hated it when we got interrupted by phone calls and all
that every time we went out," he asks amused.
"And I do," she shrugs her shoulders. "But I know it's important
to you, so I want you to have the best you can have."
Dawson just looks at her, and for some reason she can’t comfort his gaze.
He caresses her face and she smiles at him.
"Thanks."
"You’re welcome."
I believe in you
I can't even count the ways that
I believe in you
And all I want to do is help you to
Believe in you
"Okay, my turn now," he says, jumping off of the sofa and rubbing
his hands.
Somewhere there's an angel
Trying to earn his wings
She watches as he reaches for a present under the tree. Then he goes back to
the sofa.
"Here," he says, as he hands her the present quietly.
Somewhere there's a silent voice
Learning how to sing
Joey unwraps the gift with a big grin and is stunned by what she sees. She
looks up at Dawson and he smiles.
Some of us can't move ahead
We're paralyzed with fear
It’s a crystal pen, with different, warm colors (yellow, orange, red)
fading into each other. It almost looks like a magical pen...like anything could
come out from it. It comes along with a bottle of ink and a paper pad of beautifully
aged yellow pages..
And everybody's listening
'Cause we all need to hear
"Dawson, it's beautiful," she says, under her breath.
I believe in you
I can't even count the ways that
I believe in you
And all I want to do is help you to
Believe in you
"I know you love your work. But, you know, I think you were such a talented
writer. And I think… I think that maybe you could go back to it, even
if it's just for fun, you know?" he explains himself nervously as he feels
Joeys eyes upon him. But then he finally looks at her and smiles.
I will hold you up
I will help you stand
I will comfort you when you need a friend
I will be the voice that's calling out
"Thanks," she says heartfelt.
And there are just so many ways that
I believe in you
Baby, what else can I do but believe in you - believe in you
"You’re welcome. Anything for my best friend." And they grin
at each other.
All I want to know is you believe - believe in you
Meanwhile, in the living room…
"Hey, Doug." Jack approaches Doug. "Can I?" Jack gestures
to the open chair next to Doug.
"Of course."
("Hold On" by Sarah Mc Lachlan starts playing in the background)
"I've been thinking about us this past week."
Hold on
Hold on to yourself
For this is gonna hurt like hell
"That's good to know," Doug is clearly upset. "At least you've
been thinking of us, considering that every time I've wanted to go out on a
date, or even spend some time with you, I've faced excuses about you being too
busy."
Hold on
Hold on to yourself
You know that only time can tell
"I'm sorry," Jack sighs. "I know we've had some unfinished business
since Thanksgiving. The truth is, I really wanted to take my time before I did
what I'm about to do."
What is it in me that refuses to believe
This isn't easier than the real thing
Doug looks at Jack. He doesn't know what Jack is hinting at, but he knows it
can't be good.
"I wanted to tell you this the other day,' Jack continues. "But then
again, I didn't. Maybe...maybe we should take a break from each other."
"What?" Doug is confused and hurt. "What the hell does that even
mean?"
My love
You know that you're my best friend
You know that I'd do anything for you
"Well, I know that your life and your job is complicated. And my life...well,
my life is beyond complicated. The circumstances are against us here."
"I made a decision," Doug almost pleads. "I made a commitment.
I want to be there for you through it all. I want to be with you."
And my love
Let nothing come between us
My love for you is strong and true
"I know you do." Jack says sadly. "And I know that you meant
what you said at the time and I know that you mean what you're saying now. It
isn't you and it isn't me. It's just the timing of everything. Maybe someday…
Well, maybe things will work out for us in the future. This just isn't our time."
"Isn't our time?" Doug repeats. "Then we'll make it our time.
Things are getting better. The governor of Massachusetts is trying to revoke
the laws to make gay marriage legal. But people are fighting against it. They
won’t let him."
Am I in heaven here or am I
At the crossroads I am standing
"And isn’t it sad that five years later, we still have the need
to keep fighting for something that is our right? You've seen the uproar over
it. Now suddenly every gay issue is being brought to the forefront again. There's
a huge backlash from that. I'm being watched now more than ever. I just have
so many things in my life right now."
So now you're sleeping peaceful
I lie awake and pray
That you'll be strong tomorrow
"And I'm the expendable thing?"
"I'm sorry." Jack slumps his shoulders and walks away, believing that
he did the only thing he could do. Doug shakes his head, his mouth hanging open
and an infuriated, incredulous sigh coming out his mouth. He just can’t
believe what Jack just did.
And will see another day
And we will praise it
And love the light that brings a smile
Across your face
"Trouble in paradise?" Mr. Witter offhandedly remarks as he sees Jack
leave.
Doug looks up at him, his face a storm of emotions.
Oh, God
If you're out there, won't you hear me
I know we've never talked before
"Uh… sorry, son." Mr. Witter awkwardly apologises. "I
know I may be the last person that you would want to confide in, but if you
want to talk about it, I'm here."
Doug looks at his father. The look of surprise clearly shows on his face. For
a moment, Doug seriously considers talking to his father.
And, oh God
The man I love is leaving
Won't you take him when he comes to your door
"Not right now," Doug walks by him, still clearly upset.
Mr. Witter sighs as he sits down.
Hold on
Hold on to yourself
For this is gonna hurt like hell
Just a few moments later
"Hey everyone," Dawson says as he joins Pacey, Gretchen, Andie, and
Audrey in the living room and he is immediately greeted back by huge smiles.
"Starting the party without me?" he jokes.
"God no! We could never start a party without you, D. Because you know,
you were always the king of parties, weren’t you?" Pacey pretends
to be excited at the memories of the wild parties Dawson was famous for. The
rest of the group laughs.
"Well, for your information, I was. When I was drunk," Dawson concedes
at him when Pacey throws him an inquiring glance.
"Oh, yes. I remember that," Pacey chuckles as he remembers Dawson’s
infamous sixteeth birthday party, or the one Pacey had on his boat in the college
years, shortly after Mitch died.
"Let’s just forget about it," Dawson chuckles.
Pacey agrees, raising his glass. "I'll toast to that. So how's the new
job?"
"Working with Spielberg?" Dawson grins. "Amazing. How's the restaurant
business treating you?"
"Can't complain," Pacey smiles. "The kitchen life agrees with
me."
Andie looks from Dawson to Pacey and can't help but smile. It’s been a
while since she had seen them bantering like that.
"Have you been to Spielberg’s house in the Hamptons yet?" Audrey
asks. "My friend, Rita, was there for a party two years ago and she said
the place is amazing."
"Yeah, been there a couple of times, actually. And yes, I agree...it’s
amazing. It's more than amazing, if you ask me."
"Why do you look like the cat who swallowed the canary?" Pacey asks
Andie when he finally notices her looks and the big grin plastered on her face.
"It's just that, when I left, you two could barely tolerate each other.
And now," Andie gushes. "It just seems like all the bad feelings are
gone and it's like when I first came to Capeside."
"Hmm hmm," Audrey clears her throat loudly.
"I have to agree," Gretchen pipes up. "This is a lot better than
when I was living here and dating the 'Golden Boy'. Andie is right. You two
would barely speak to each other."
"Well, that is in the past, my friend," Pacey says, raising his glass
and taking a sip of it.
"Yes it is," Dawson agrees with him. "Because it is, right??"
he asks, looking at Pacey and pretending to be concerned.
Pacey laughs "Sure, Golden Boy. Trust me."
'Golden Boy'," Dawson groans. "Did you have to use the term 'Golden
Boy'?" he asks, turning to Gretchen. "Now he won’t let me live
it down."
"What would you prefer?" Gretchen laughs. "Prodigy? Wonderkid?"
"'Kid' would be about right," Dawson agrees.
"I'm going to see if they need help in the kitchen," Andie stands
up. "Since one of us here is a chef by profession, perhaps they should
probably come and help, too."
"You're such a slave driver, McPhee," Pacey complains, but stands
up nonetheless.
"I just want to see what kind of skills a man who brought canned cranberry
sauce to a Thanksgiving meal so many years ago has in the kitchen."
"Oh, I've got skills."
"Well, if there's slave driving involved, I'm coming, too." Audrey
stands up to follow Andie and Pacey to the kitchen.
"So, I hear you almost got arrested…" Andie's voice trails off.
Gretchen and Dawson can only share an amused look as Pacey and ‘his’
blondes leave.
Still soon in the evening, everybody still waiting for Christmas dinner.
Grams is sitting in the living room, with Amy comfortably nestled in her lap.
It has been less than ten minutes ago when Bessie and Gale had to usher her
out of the kitchen, alleging that she was taking all the hard work upon her
and that they wouldn’t allow her to do that. So they gently scolded her
and asked her to go and join the fun in the other room, where the young people
were busy playing some cards.
And so they were. But Grams, instead of joining them, just sat there with Amy
in her arms when Gale enters the room. She immediately spots her and goes to
sit with her.
"Well, things are under control in the kitchen," she says, pulling
some hair off of her face. Grams just gives her a weak smile and Gale looks
at her pensively. She can tell that there is something bothering her but Evelyn
has always been so reserved about her problems, always keeping them to herself.
Just then, Alex and Lily enter the room, covered in snow and their cheeks are
red as apples. They are laughing and they immediately catch Amy’s attention.
She claps her hands and giggles, bouncing excitedly in Gram’s lap. Both
women laugh softly as Lily walks over to the baby and extends her arms to her.
Amy throws herself gladly at them. Their not foreign to her.
"Watch her carefully, Lily. You hear me?"
"No prob, Mom. We will," she says as she guides Amy’s insecure
steps to Alex, who is kneeling down and waiting for the baby to arrive to the
spot where he is standing, his arms open to receive her.
Gale's attention goes back to Grams, though.
"Mind to share your thoughts with an old neighbor?" she asks sweetly
to the old woman. Grams turns to her with a tired look in her eyes and sighs.
"I was just thinking about how time flies," she simply says.
"Oh, yes. Nothing better than younger generations to remind you of that,
right?" Gale laughs softly.
"Yeah, and then you wonder what life might have in store for them, and
if you will be here for them when whatever that is going to come their way comes,"
Grams says deep in thought. Gale doesn’t really know what to say. It seems
like she is talking more to herself than to her.
"Well, we can only pray that we will," Gale says softly, while watching
the kids play on the carpet, and a sweet smile curls her lips.
"Sometimes I think about all the things I’ve gone through in my
life, and I think I’ve gone through enough, and that my time might be
close. I’ve formed a family, for better or for worse. I raised my daughter,
and practically raised my granddaughter when she was given to me. I saw my husband
die, and I saw my Jen leave me, too. And no matter how hard I try, it seems
like I will never be able to reconnect with my daughter. So I wonder...what
is left for me here?" Gale stares at her, tears welling up her eyes, although
she tries hard to contain them. Evelyn’s voice sounds so… desperate
somehow. "But then I look at that little angel and I know I can’t
leave. I have so many things yet to do. But I feel so tired," she sighs
and closes her eyes.
Gale places a hand over hers and smiles at her with a sympathetic smile and
warm, worried eyes.
"We all do from time to time, Evelyn. And the more people we lose along
the way, the more we feel tired, and lost...and ready to give up and to not
expect anything else to come our way. But it always comes. It came for me and
it will come for you. You should know that better than anyone here."
Grams pats the back of Gale’s hand softly and it seems as if she is about
to say something else when a loud laughter interrupts the moment.
"They would never last a single round in Las Vegas," Mike says, pointing
to the table where Jack is groaning and Pacey has a wide smile on his face.
Mr. Witter is muttering something under his breath and looking kinda annoyed,
while Andie and Audrey are having a heated argument with Bodie, who claims that
they played by the rules so he and Pacey won. Audrey throws the cards at the
both of them, to their amusement, and Andie laughs along with the guys at her
outburst. Audrey joins the laughter shortly after.
"Drama queen," Jack says. Doug just watches the scene half amused,
leaning on a near wall. Poker was never his strength anyway.
Gale throws a look at Grams, who smiles at her reassuringly before turning
to Mr. Potter.
"So have you ever been to Las Vegas, Mike? I was there once, too."
But even though she tries to downplay it, Gale knows that something is bothering
Grams and if her instinct is right, she knows what it might be.
At that same moment, also in the living room.
"I'm glad that you decided to come back for the holidays," Dawson
says as he and Gretchen walk to the other side of the room, near Alex and Lily,
who are playing with Amy. "Even if you won't tell me why."
"Can't a girl just want to come back and see her family?"
Dawson's look says it all.
"Okay. So my family may not be your a-typical television sitcom family,
but in the end, we do alright."
"I know," Dawson smiles. "I can see the differences. But that's
not why you came here."
"How do you know?"
"Because, you have that same look you first did when you came back my senior
year. It's in your eyes."
"I forgot how well you knew me," Gretchen stops walking. "I guess
you still know me."
Dawson shrugs. "It's more of a skill that I've picked up over the years."
"An ex-girlfriend skill?"
"No, a people-reading skill. When I'm directing, I have to be able to work
with so many different kinds of people and I have to be able to relate to everyone...from
assistants to actors. I've just learned to be more in tune with people over
the years."
"No," Gretchen shakes her head.
"No?"
"You've always had it," Gretchen smiles. "That's one of the things
that attracted me to you. That you were so in tune and open to what I was feeling.
You were so honest."
"Nah," Dawson shakes his head. "I was a kid. I didn't know what
I was doing. If I was any of those things, it was because of you. You opened
me up to a whole other world of possibilities."
"You did the same for me." Gretchen pauses to take a sip of her drink.
"I had closed myself off to a lot of possibilities. Then, when I was with
you…things became possible again."
"You don't have to tell me. Whatever it is that you're going through, I'm
sure you'll be okay."
"My boyfriend, well, we've been dating for three years now."
"Yeah? That's great!"
"Well, the thing is… He asked me to marry him."
"Congratulations!" Dawson beamed. "Does anyone else know?"
"I didn't say yes. But I didn't say no, either. I told him I had to think
about it."
Dawson's brow wrinkled as he thought about the situation. "All this time
I thought guys were supposed to be the commitment-phobes. Sometimes I don't
think I'll ever understand women. What are you so afraid of?"
"I'm not afraid," Gretchen says defensively. "So I'm afraid,"
she sighs.
"You already know what you should do."
"I do?"
"Yeah," Dawson keeps his tone solemn. "You should follow your
heart."
"Sometimes that's not the smartest thing to do."
"I know it sounds naive, but life is too short to torture yourself with
what-ifs. Your heart doesn't lie. It's the only thing that will stay true."
"So, Dawson Leery says follow your heart," Gretchen muses. "Look,"
she says pointing upwards.
"Mistletoe." Dawson laughs.
"Yeah," Gretchen laughs with him. "For old times sake?"
"Won't your boyfriend be mad?"
"No. Just two old friends sharing a kiss. There’s nothing wrong with
that."
"Well then." Dawson leans down and kisses her softly. Joey has been
overlooking the whole exchange from the distance and now her eyes narrow and
her body stiffens. Gretchen rests her head against Dawson's shoulder and he
rubs her shoulder.
"See," she says. "Just two friends." And the smile on her
face becomes even wider.
"Dinner's ready." Joey steps out and makes her presence known. She
looks pointedly at Dawson before turning and walking away, not waiting for a
response from either of them.
Gretchen observes Dawson's puzzled look and just shakes her head. Some things
will never change. For a guy who was just talking about how in tune he could
be to people, he sure was oblivious sometimes. Maybe he just chose to be.
A montage of images fade into each other...
(Instrumental theme by Jim Bricks, "Little Star" starts playing
in the background)
Everybody’s sitting at the table and as the camera pans from one side
to the other, we can see: Bessie presiding the table on the right side, with
Grams at her right side holding Amy. Bessie leans down to coo at Amy, and the
baby leans on Grams with a little smile on her face, staring at Bessie curiously.
Mike is next. Alex is talking brightly to him and Mike is nodding his head while
listening. Lily is helping herself to some more food, sitting by Dawson, who
is chatting animatedly with Gretchen, who laughs at something he says. Doug
is sitting next to her, very straight and throwing glances across the table
to Jack. By Doug’s side is his father, Mr Witter, making small talk with
Bodie, who is presiding the left side of the table. By his side, sitting in
front of Mr Witter, is Mrs Witter, who has a half stunned, half shocked expression
on her face at something Audrey is saying to her in her usual chatter. By Audrey’s
side, Andie tries to contain her laughter and turns to Pacey, who is shaking
his head amused and leans over to her to say something in her ear, to which
Andie openly laughs. Joey is right next to him, looking at Dawson and Gretchen,
who are sitting right in front of her, as they talk. Dawson notices and tries
to include her in the conversation, although it's clear to Gretchen that Joey
is not really in the mood. Joey smiles weakly as Dawson keeps on going about
something Gretchen said and is trying to explain to Joey. By Joey’s side
there is Jack, who is chatting with Gale, and John, who is sittiing to the left
of his wife.
We see the whole group near the Christmas tree, which is overcome with presents.
Gale comes closer to Dawson and they chat a little. Then he turns his head to
see Joey happily handing her present to Alex. Lily is unwrapping a gift with
her stepfather, and Pacey is handing one to Andie, while Audrey is opening her
own and peering over Andie’s shoulder to see what it is that she got.
A huge smile spreads across Andie’s face when she opens the present and
gives Pacey a big hug. Pacey smiles and hugs her back. Doug is giving Gretchen
her present when his eyes meet Jack’s, who is helping Amy along with Grams
to unwrap one present. Jack looks away quickly. Doug looks sad. Gretchen looks
concerned and rubs his arm. Dawson joins Jack and hands Amy a little present
that she takes eagerly. As he watches the baby trying to open it excitedly,
he grins and then feels someone’s gaze on him. He looks up and meets Joey’s
eyes. He smiles at her. Joey smiles back, but her face turns pensive as soon
as he turns his attention back to Amy.
The camera moves once again across the room so we can see what everybody is
doing for the last time before if pans out and the music fades.
When the dinner is over
"Bye," Grams says to Bessie for about the fourth time. "And
thank you so much for inviting us," she says with warm emphasis.
"Anytime, Mrs. Ryan."
"And thank you, Bodie. The stuffing was excellent."
"Thanks, Mrs. Ryan. That means a lot coming from you."
"Thanks, Bess," Gale hugs Bessie. "We should all get together
more often."
"John forgot his glasses," Joey comes running up to crowd. "I
think it would be best if he actually wore them to drive home."
"John, Pacey´s dad...or John, Gale's husband?" Audrey asks.
"John, Gale's husband," Joey clarifies as she hands them to him.
"Thanks," he takes the glasses. "And thanks once again for inviting
us. It was one of the best Christmas dinners I've ever had."
"Thanks for coming," Joey answers.
"I don't think they're ever going to leave," Bessie whispers to Bodie.
But the smile on her face betrays her words. She's happy to have such a large
group serving as her extended family.
"Joey," Dawson comes from behind and spins her around into a hug.
"I had a really great time today. This is one of the best holidays I've
had in a long time."
"Um, Merry Christmas, Dawson." Joey is obviously upset but Dawson
doesn't notice.
"Merry Christmas, Jo. I'll give you a call, okay?" He finally releases
her from their embrace.
"Yeah. Sure"
"Dawson!" Lily comes up and grabs his hand and begins walking with
him to the car.
Dawson looks over his shoulder at Joey. She's still looking at him so he smiles
at her. Her face remains unchanged.
"Now, I don't want you to mess up my headquarters this time," Lily
says sternly.
"What's your 'headquarters'?" he asks, turning his attention to Lily.
"Your room?"
"And why is my old room your 'headquarters'?" he asks playfully.
"Because I use it to watch movies and do homework. At first, I was just
going to move all of my stuff in there and use it all the time because it's
way bigger than my room. But then I thought that if I stayed in my room it would
be like I had two rooms. Plus, I thought it would be fun to have a director's
bedroom in the house."
Dawson just laughs and lets his glance linger upon Joey once again. She's hugging
Pacey goodbye. He pretends not to notice when she kisses him on the cheek. As
if he cares. Right?
Almost midnight, the Potter’s B&B
It’s late at night but Joey knows she won’t be able to sleep, so
she is not even trying. Instead, she is going around in her room moving things
from here to there. As she is taking some things out of her closet, she takes
out a large box of shoes. Boots, probably. She looks at it pensively.
She hears a knock on the door. Joey turns around, jumping scared. The door
opens to reveal Bessie in her sweat pants, clearly getting ready to sleep.
"Joey, what are you doing? I can hear you from the kitchen."
"Sorry, Bessie. I was just…" she clears her throat, "cleaning
up a little."
Bessie raises one eyebrow. "At midnight, on Christmas?"
Joey sighs and sits on the bed. Bessie enters and sits down beside her.
"I’ve heard those kind of sighs so many times before. And they've
always had one name written all over them," Bessie says with a hint of
comprehension in her voice. Joey sighs but says nothing. She just looks at her
hands.
"Listen, Joey. I know that what Dawson and you had, whatever that it was,
was complicated. Maybe it still is. But I also know that you two never dealt
with it properly. When you dated, you were so young and so many things were
in your way. And when you were back together, the whole thing with Dad happened,
and you overreacted and…"
"Whoa, whoa, wait! I overreacted? Well, at least I did react! I can’t
say the same for you.
Because maybe, just maybe, if you had been the one facing the situation, everything
would have been different. "
"Oh no. You’re not putting the blame on me. I…"
"You were the oldest. You should have been the one doing what I did,"
Joey says, now getting more upset than before.
"Where is this all coming from, anyway? I just wanted to talk to you and
see if I could help you somehow, but I see that you’re not in your best
of moods," Bessie says, standing up and attempting to leave. But suddenly
she stops dead in her heels and turns to Joey, her face now contrived.
"You really think it was my fault, then?" she asks concerned. When
Joey sees the guilty expression on her face, her anger goes away.
"I don’t know, Bess. Maybe I wouldn’t have ruined it right
then and there, but maybe I would have ruined it any other number of ways,"
she shrugs her shoulders. "Whatever it was or whatever it is that Dawson
and me had or have is never simple, as you put it. Not even now, when we are
supposed to be older and wiser."
"Don’t fool yourself, Joey. You’re never old or wise enough
when it comes to love. I can only tell you this...you’ll know when you
find it. The real one. The one that was made for you and destined to be with
you always. You just have to stop yourself from being scared and running away.
But even once you make that decision, you still have a long road ahead you."
"Thanks, Bessie," Joey smiles sweetly at her. "And I'm sorry
about before. I was just…"
"It’s okay, Joey. It seems like even you and I have some unfinished
business that we need to talk about, don’t we?"
The two sisters smile at each other fondly. Bessie might be right. But they
have no doubt in their minds that whatever the unfinished business is, it will
be forgiven.
"Nite, little sister."
"Nite, Bess."
("White flag" by Dido starts playing in the background)
With that, Bessie walks away and closes the door. Joey’s eyes wander
around the room and they stop on a box on the floor.
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
I'll tell you that.
Slowly, she creeps from the bed down to the floor and takes it from the
ground.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?
She opens it slowly and her eyebrows furrow at the sight of what it is
inside.
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were
The first thing that she sees is the old drawing she made of Dawson long, long
ago, when they were in high school. She had been told to draw what she loved
the most. And there he was...Dawson.
Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
As she puts the draft aside, she finds a brown paper folder. She opens it to
find a copy of the peer recommendation Dawson wrote for her for college. She
reads it, and a sad but sweet smile curls her lips.
I know I left too much mess and
Destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
Her diary...her old diary, Tthe very same one that caused her first fight with
Dawson. It lead to that moment they shared in the rain. It’s amazing how,
so many years later, she can almost still feel the cold drops of rain hitting
her bare skin, and Dawson’s lips pressed against her shoulder.
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
Then I'm sure that that makes sense
Next thing she sees is an old draft of the letter she wrote to him when his
father died. 'I love you, Dawson. And I'm here for you. Now, forever, and everyday
in between.' She stares off into space as she remembers those hard days where
they lost each other once again. Now the expression on her face is clearly of
pain. She closes her eyes and sighs.
Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
Almost hesitant, she puts the letter aside and comes face to face with the
paper she wrote about the kiss she and Dawson shared when they were trying to
say goodbye to each other right before he headed off to L.A. for the first time.
'True greatness'...that’s how she had described that kiss. And that was
how it had felt that night and morning on her nineteeth birthday. She bites
her lip and once again, stares right in front of her.
And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
She leans on the side of the bed, fighting with herself, as more and more old
memories come to her. She remembers Dawson showing up at her dormroom door after
things didn't work out in L.A., making her resolution to say goodbye to him
fly right out the window.
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....
She remembers all the times she has walked away from him. Starting from that
day that she wasn´t able to face him and tell him why she couldn’t
sleep in the same bed with him anymore. Or the night after his first date with
Jen, and she left running, but Dawson's confession made her believe that it
was still possible...just to leave him after their high school homecoming dance.
Or on the pier, right after she turned her father into the police. Or on his
dock at his parent’s wedding. She ran, and ran and ran. And that phone
call she made to him while she locked herself up in the bathroom of that stupid
college party. And that night when he tried to kiss her in Capeside but she
said she couldn’t do that anymore… and that last time, when she
found out about Natasha. She never ever gave him another chance. Not that he
asked for one, did he?. She sighs once again and puts her face in her hands.
But enough is enough. This has been enough. And it’s true...she can’t
do this anymore. She has all these feelings inside, and she feels as if she
can’t confide them to the only person that she needs to. But she has to.
She wants to, whatever the outcome. It’s all about taking risks. It’s
always been about that.
Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
She puts all of the papers, pictures and the rest of the stuff back into the
box and stands up, walking to her desk. She grabs a piece of paper and sits
down. She bites the end of the pen, thinking, trying to find the words.
There will be no white flag above my door
Slowly but surely, she starts to write. When she is done, she re-reads what
she just wrote and places it inside with the rest of the stuff. She grabs her
coat and, with the box in her hands, Joey exits the room with determinate steps.
We see the door close after her.
I'm in love and always will be
At the old Leery house
(Dawson and Joey instrumental theme starts playing in the background)
Clutching the box tightly to her chest, Joey takes a deep breath and looks
up at Dawson’s window. There is light shining throught it. Good. She closes
her eyes tight and then walks to the front door.
We see Dawson lying on his bed, with his laptop on his knees. He is typing
something furiously on it, then passes one of his hands through his hair, deleting
everything he had just written. Just then, the door of his room opens. He looks
at it, expecting anyone but the person that is standing there...Joey.
She watches him close his laptop before placing it on the floor by the other
side of the bed, an inquiring look on his face. Soon, their gazes are locked,
but Joey breaks the stare and moves into the room, placing the box of memories
on his desk.
Dawson sits on the edge of the bed, not knowing what to expect. He can feel
the change in the air. She looks different. Different from when they were exchanging
presents, different from when they were saying goodbye on her front porch. Just…different.
In the way she moves, in the way she looks at him, as if…but it can’t
be. Can it?
(The instrumental song ends)
She finally looks down to meet his gaze when she feels him resting a hand softly
on one of her arms. Words die in her throat, she is not able to form any coherent
sentence in her mind. She can only feel the rush in her veins and the longing,
the needing…She came here to talk to him, to pour her heart out to him.
But maybe… maybe this is the best way to do it. To make him feel it. To
make him feel her love for him.
("Return to me" by October Project starts playing in the background)
You rise like a wave in the ocean
Her fingers are running through his hair, which pulls him out of his introspection.
And you fall gently back to the sea
He grabs her hands and looks up to find her standing above him, seemingly opening
herself up to him… and abruptly, he’s thrown back in time to the
night she offered herself to him.
Now I want to know how to hold you
Return to me
Turn to me
He sees the same fear in her eyes that he saw that night so many years ago.
You shine like the moon over water
She looks so beautiful and so like the Joey he's dreamed of for so long. For
so long.
And you darken the sky when you leave
She looks in his eyes, and she sees the questions there. And she knows, with
certainty, that she is in love with him. Truly, madly, deeply in love with the
guy across the creek.
Now I want to know how to keep you
He is about to say something, but she places a finger on his lips.
Return to me
Turn to me
Rerurn to me
Turn to me
Suddenly, he realizes that she’s scared…and so is he. And that
this fear has always been standing between them, harming their relationship.
He could see now that they were both always afraid of the emotional damage they
could do to each other. It was not only Joey, but him as well.
Everything I tell you has been spoken
And everything I say was said before
Dawson rests his head on her stomach, sighing, all of the old feelings coming
over him all over again, no matter how hard he tries.
But everything I feel is for the first time
Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulls her to him, lightly pressing his
face in her stomach.
And everything I feel, I feel for you
She rubs his shoulder gently, almost comfortingly. But, as has happened in
the past, their touches take on a different meaning. Electricity crackles between
them. He feels her hands move to his neck. One of them rests there, the other
moves to cups his face, forcing him to meet her eyes. They move toward each
other…
I am here calling the wind
… and their lips meet in a brief, tentative kiss that soon turns into
much more. Their lips collide, Dawson’s hands move up to caress her back.
I am here calling your name
She feels her knees buckle but his arms prevent her from falling, instead...
I am here calling you back
Return to me
... he tugs her into his lap as they continue kissing, hands roaming…
I know what it means to be lonely
Then, Dawson breaks the kiss, both breathless, and Joey rests her forehead
on his. They look at each other.
And I know what it means to be free
Joey seems to be on the verge of tears. Because she wants to tell him something,
anything, so badly. But words keep failing her.
Now I want to know how to love you
Dawson wipes her tears silently, as he sees how moved she is. No word in the
English language, or any other for that matter, could help him express what
he is feeling right now.
Return to me
They kiss again. Slowly, cupping each other’s face, and then Joey pulls
him gently down to the bed as the camera pans out.
I am here
Return to me
Later. It could be ten minutes, one hour, or a lifetime...
(Wednesday morning 3 a.m starts playing in the background)
The camera pans from the window to the floor, going to Dawson’s bed. There,
we can see two bodies cuddling under the sheets.
I can hear the soft breathing
Of the girl that I love,
We see Joey’s face. She is asleep, one of her cheeks resting on one of
Dawson’s shoulders, one of her arms circling his waist over the cover.
As she lies here beside me
Asleep with the night,
She looks peaceful, a lingering smile on her lips, as if she is dreaming of
something nice.
And her hair, in a fine mist
Floats on my pillow,
Reflecting the glow
Of the winter moonlight.
We see Dawson. He looks down at her as his fingertips caresses one of her bare
shoulders lightly and distractedly, drawing paths over her skin.
She is soft, she is warm,
But my heart remains heavy,
And I watch as her breasts
Gently rise, gently fall,
His face is a mixture of sadness and reflection. Maybe even regrets. Either
way, he is clearly torn about what has just happened. About what he let happen.
For I know with the first light of dawn
I'll be leaving,
He catches some strands of Joey’s brown hair in his fingers and watches
as her hair slides in between them.
And tonight will be
All I have left to recall.
Joey stirs and cuddles closer to him. For a moment he remains motionless, afraid
she might wake up. When he realizes she won’t, he closes his eyes tightly.
Oh, what have I done,
Why have I done it,
Dawson moves to accommodate himself on the bed. Joey is lying next to him, his
arms circling her warm body, and it feels good. Too good.
I've committed a crime,
I've broken the law.
So good that he is afraid that this time there might be no going back to where
they used to be. This is not a script he can fix. Sammy and Colby’s destiny
intertwined once more, and each time seems to be even more complicated than
the one before.
My life seems unreal,
My crime an illusion,
A scene badly written
He turns to gaze outside, to the sky, through his window. The window Joey used
to climb through when they were kids.
In which I must play.
Yet I know as I gaze
At my young love beside me,
The window she used just a few months ago after so many years since they had
seen each other. The window that, once upon a time, he kissed her by. Slowly,
his eyes close…
The morning is just a few hours away.
Morning in Dawson’s room
Early in the morning, before anyone else is awake, Dawson and Joey are already
up. Dawson is fully clothed and Joey is sitting at the foot of the bed, putting
on her shoes.
Neither has said much of anything and the air is full of unspoken words, expectations,
and promises.
"We need to talk," Dawson finally says as he moves to the foot of
the bed.
"Yeah," Joey moves over to give Dawson more room to sit next to her.
"We should talk. I have a lot to say and I hope this comes out the right
way, so bare with me. This past year has been filled with loss, heartbreak,
uncertainty, doubts and some decisions. Not just for me. There have been a lot
of changes for you, too. And the whole time, there has only been one thing that
I was certain of...that what you and I have is unbreakable. That is something
that I can always count on and that is the only thing that I know will always
remain. It's always been you, even when I didn't know what it was that I was
looking for. Even when I tried to substitute you with someone else."
"Joey..."
"I'm saying that I want to be with you. I want to be with you in every
way...as friends, as lovers…I love you."
She looks at him expectantly, searching for that look he had when they were
fifteen and he had really kissed her for the first time, that look that he had
when they had catered that wedding, the same look he possessed when he made
love to her the first time. And it’s not there. Instead, there is uncertainty
in his eyes.
"Why are you doing this, Joey?" he asks, tiredness in his voice.
"Because," she states simply. "I love you."
"I know that you love me. But are you sure you love me like that?Because
I don't want to be the one that you turn to as a safe option, because everything
with me is certain. I don't want to be the one that helps pick up the pieces
so you're put together enough to break my heart. I just can't do that again.
If it were someone else… But this is you and me, and we've been down this
road so many times. We have to be careful."
"Of what?"
"Of nuking bridges that we've burnt and rebuilt more times than I can bare
to remember. I don't want to be the guy that's a layover between Pacey and whoever
it is that's next in line."
"Is that what you really think of me?" Joey's gets a little loud,
her eyes open wide. "Is that who you really think I am?"
"I'm just saying that I don't want to be the distraction while you find
the guy you that really want to be with."
"How can you even say that after everything that has happened this year?
You know what I've gone through. You know I'm getting help and dealing with..."
"I'm just saying that, given our history, it would be natural for me to
assume..."
"Assume what?" Joey raises her voice this time.
"That you still don't know what you want," Dawson raises his voice
to match hers. "And that we might have made the same mistake that we did
years ago." He says, standing up and walking away from the bed.
Joey is shocked, hurt and upset to hear that.
"I ne...I never said that it was a mistake. I said that maybe it had been
a mistake. And excuse me, but as far as I know, no one put a gun to your head
last night and you were quite cooperative." Dawson raises his hands in
surrender when he sees her anger boiling. "So why did you make love to
me if that wasn't what you wanted, too? You could have just…" she
kinda screams gesturing wildly with her hands, forgetting that there are more
people in the house.
She just can’t believe that this is happening again. Not again.
"Because I love you, okay?!" Dawson’s outburst cuts her words
immediately. "I’ve always loved you. One way or another, it’s
always been you." he sighs frustrated. "You told me that I have written
a show about us. Yes, I did. And you want to know why? Because everything always
comes back to you and me. Because that’s who I am, that’s what we
are and that’s what we always do, isn't it? We go back to each other time
after time, but we never make it through" he searches for her gaze but
she doesn’t speak. "But it’s you and me...always. Always been
an always will. And I don’t wanna live it through fiction. I want the
real thing, but..."
"And that’s what I’m offering you!" she interrupts, trying
to make him understand. "That’s what I want, too...more than anything.
For us to be together, not in an unearthly way, or in a fantasy, but in the
real world. I want the here and now."
"For how long, Jo?" Dawson asks tired. Joey stares at him.
"You still think I'm that same child I was ten years ago, don't you? People
change, Dawson.They evolve"
"Exactly!" Dawson stands up. "I've changed, Joey. I'm not that
wide-eyed idealist who will fall down at your feet simply because you've decided
that it's time for a reconciliation. I’m not going back to you without
questions, without doubts, like other guys do. I’m sorry, but I’m
not that guy anymore"
"I’m such a fool for thinking that things could change." She
says, shaking her head and standing up from the bed too. "I should have
known better. You may be right...this is just like the last time. I’m
surprised that your cell phone hasn’t rung yet."
"Is the statute of limitation ever going to run out on that one?"
Dawson runs his hands through his hair. "I was a kid then. I made a mistake.
What was I supposed to do?"
"What about telling me you were sorry? You never did!"
"As if you didn’t know, Joey. You knew that I was sorry."
"But maybe I needed to hear it! Maybe I wanted to hear it! You could have
fought for me!"
"Fought for you?" Dawson throws his hands up in frustration. "All
I did in high school was fight for you, Joey!". He says, piercing her with
his eyes "I rearranged my whole life for you. I moved to Boston
for you. I drove all the way to Florida to tell you that I loved you. But it
never worked, did it?"
"Oh, yes. You moved to Boston for me, and look what happened," Joey
stands up and faces him. "You ended up with someone else!"
"You know that there were so many other things going on then, Joey."
he says serious.
"Things that you couldn't share with me, your best friend. Forget the romance
part of it. I was your best friend and you cut me off cold. I wanted to be there
for you and you wouldn't let me. Do you know how hard it is to have the person
that you need the most not need you anymore?"
"Of course I do!" Dawson yells. "How do you think it felt when
you showed up at my house with Eddie? How do you think it felt when you ran
off with Pacey?"
"Oh God, please! Is the statute of limitation ever going to run out on
that? You told me to go to him! I wanted you to tell me to stay!"
"I didn't want you with me because you felt like you had to be. I thought
you were going to ask him to stay, not run away with him."
"Fine!"
"Right!"
They yell at each other and stand rooted in their positions at this point. It
was a fight. A fight like the very ones they have had before. Why is it always
so hard? Why do they always make it so complicated?
"Why does this always happen with us?" Joey chokes back her tears.
"How come we end up saying all these bad things to each other when all
we want are good things for us."
"I don't know," Dawson sighs, his anger now deflated, too. "Maybe
there is just too much in our past for us to ever have a future..."
"That's the problem...our past. Because, see...," Joey interrupts
him. "We're still here." She gestures to the empty space between them.
"We're still in the same place, having the same argument we had years ago.
All because we never dealt with it the first time."
"You're right," Dawson agrees walking nearer her and taking her hand
slowly. Now that he sees the tears in her eyes, the argument is not worth it
anymore. "We need to deal with this...whatever the consequences. And I…
I need some time to think about it. I'm going to L.A. and I think that may be
a good opportunity for me to sort things out in my head. I don't want to rush
into this either way, Joey. That’s all."
"That's fine," Joey gives his hand a small squeeze. "I can wait."
she hardly whispers, but the disappointment and sadness is evident in her voice.
"Just while I'm in California. I promise to give you an answer after that."
"No. Don't put a limit on it." Joey pleads, afraid he might make a
decision too fast. "Take your time. That way, we'll both know it's real.
Whatever it is."
A moment of silence fall over them.
"Forever. That’s what you told me, right?" she asks.
Dawson looks at her with intensity.
"Are you ready for it, Joey? Are you really ready for it?" Dawson
asks, getting closer to her, both with tears in their eyes. Joey just looks
at him. Dawson sighs and is about to step back when she grabs his arm and pulls
him into a kiss. It´s animpulsive, tender, loving kiss. When it´s
over, Dawson looks at her stunned and a moment passes between them before any
of them move.
"Here," Joey says as she grabs what she left on his nightstand last
night. She hands him the large box. "I was going to give this to you last
night before…everything. I finally opened it and I think you have the
right to know what's inside. Maybe... maybe it´ll help you to find your
way back"
Before she leaves, she leans over and kisses him softly once more. Dawson stands
there, looking at the box in his hands.
Dawson’s hall.
Dawson walks down the stairs later in the morning, his luggage in tow as he
thinks over what has transpired in the past twenty-four hours. And he is afraid
that his mother might have heard something, judging by the looks she threw at
him in the kitchen, although she didn’t mention a thing. Who would have
thought this would happen?. As he reaches the bottom step, he’s surprised
to see Gretchen sitting on the sofa in the living room.
"Hey," he smiles as he enters the room, putting his suitcase down.
"You’re a sight for sore eyes."
"Hey, yourself," she replies, standing so they can embrace. "Going
somewhere?" she asks, gesturing to the luggage once the hug is broken.
"Ahhh, yeah. I have to go back to L.A. for the show," he replies
automatically, not really thinking of what he’s saying, his mind obviously
somewhere else.
Gretchen decides to let how distant he seems to be pass for a bit. "So
you’re going back to LA?"
He just nods his head.
"And you were going to say goodbye to me when?"
"Um…"
"You weren’t even going to say goodbye?"
"Like you’re one to talk about not saying goodbye."
Gretchen is about to hit back with something when it suddenly dawns on her
that she once left town without saying 'goodbye' to Dawson. She narrows her
eyes at him. "Fine, I’ll let you off of the hook. But just so you
know, we’re even now."
"How so? I haven’t left without saying goodbye yet."
"Because I say so."
"Okay," he replies and they both laugh. "I got a raw deal, though.
Let the record show."
"The record now shows you got a raw deal."
Dawson’s smile fades and Gretchen notes that far off look in his eyes
has returned.
"So," she says watching him, waiting for him to volunteer some information.
"So," he copies her.
"So...are you going to tell me where you were just now, or do I have to
prod for information?"
He sighs. "It’s complicated."
"I guess nothing changes, does it?"
"I guess not." He thinks for a moment. "Have you ever thought
that you finally laid an old ghost to rest, only for it to come back to haunt
you again?"
She nods her head and is somehow still able to read his eyes and guess what
this is about. But Grecthen being Gretchen, she doesn’t mention Joey’s
name.
"Just the same old, same old, huh?"
"You could say that. Why is it that just when you think you're okay and
have moved on with things, something happens that just throws you back to where
you were before? You haven't moved like you once thought. It’s like everything
is going fine, and then one thing changes everything."
"Wasn’t it always that way? Just one detail had to change?"
"Yeah. I just don’t know how many times I can go through all of
this." He runs a hand through his hair. "When does it reach the point
were you just say stop? When you can’t take it anymore?"
"Who are you and what have you done with the Dawson Leery I knew and loved?
Are you hearing what you are saying?"
"What?"
"Where’s Dawson, the optimist? Where’s the guy I knew who
would never give up or defy what his heart wanted? What do you want, anyway?"
He chuckles lightly. "For the first time, in a long time, I’m not
so sure I know. I always had everything mapped out, but the key players weren’t
always stepping up to play the roles they were supposed to." He glances
towards the window and then back to Gretchen. "I guess the Dawson of old
would say keep going back until there’s nothing left to come back to,
which I thought had already come and gone a long time ago."
"But it hasn’t?" She interjected. "I guess the only advice
I can give you is to follow your heart. I know it doesn’t sound like much
but that’s all you can do. Do what makes you happy. You can’t constantly
walk through life trying to protect yourself from being hurt. It never works
that way and the only person you end up hurting is yourself."
"And are you doing that?"
"I am now. I’ve realized that the only person who will make me happy
is me, and that I have to be willing to risk getting hurt. That’s why
I am leaving, going back to Randi, my soon to be fiancé," she finishes,
beaming at Dawson.
"I’m so happy for you, ya know?" Dawson tells her. "I’m
glad one of us is finding it easier to follow their heart. To go with what you
really want."
"Yeah, but it's hard to do, especially when it's such an important step
in your life as this one, you know? You have to decide if you wanna expend the
rest of your life with this person or not. And it scares you, and you hold on
to any shread of doubt you can feel, afraid that it might not be what you want
after all. That’s part of the reason why I came here, I guess."
Dawson looks at her questioningly.
"I didn’t lie, Dawson. In that letter I wrote years ago, I didn’t
lie. When I left, I was in love with you. But I knew you wouldn’t have
followed me, would you?"
Dawson is shocked that she is bringing this up now, but he bows his head down
without saying a word. Gretchen smiles.
"I knew it. But you know, when Randi asked me to marry him, all I could
think about was...what would have happened if you had followed me? How would
it have been if we had met later, when the age gap wasn’t as huge as it
seemed back then? Because you and I worked so well together, didn’t we?"
Dawson smiles at her and nods his head. Yes, they did. "And that’s
what I was referring to when I said that you hold on to any little shread of
doubt you can find. Because well, after so many years, why wonder about that
now, right? Being here this Christmas gave me the answer, though. You’re
such a great guy, Dawson. And someday you’re gonna make some girl, whose
name I won’t mention, so happy." When she says this, Dawson casts
her a glance but once again, he remains silent. "But it won’t be
me. You’re just a sweet, loving memory and I was just running away from
love."
A moment of silence passes between them, remembering the impact they had on
each other’s lives. They were there during a hard period in both of their
lives, and they made it through together. And it felt nice to reminiscence about
it, but that was all that it was.
"You’ll make the right decision, Dawson," Gretchen finally
speaks again."I know you will."
"Thanks," he replies softly as he smiles at her.
She glances at her watch. "Is that the time? I really have to go, Dawson."
They hug tight and long. "You’ll keep in touch, won’t you?"
"Are you kidding? I want an invite to the wedding."
She smiles. "You sure as hell will get one," Gretchen says. "Just
listen to your heart, Dawson. It won’t lead you down the wrong path."
They walk to the front door in silence.
"I’ll see you, Dawson."
"See you, Gretchen. Have a safe trip," he finishes and they hug once
more, this time quickly before she turns and runs to the car.
A montage of images
("My immortal" by Evanescence starts playing in the background)
We see Dawson placing his suitcases in his car. He closes the truck slowly
with a pensive look on his face.
I’m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
We see Joey sitting in her room, by her window, looking over the creek to Dawson’s
house.
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Dawson rounds the car and is about to get into it when he turns to look at
the other side of the creek.
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
We see Joey looking at some framed pictures on her desk: one of her and Dawson
as kids and another one, the last one, that had just been taken last Thanksgiving.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
She takes it in her hand and stares at their smiling faces.
There's just too much that time cannot erase
Dawson’s gaze trails around him, to his window, to the times he and Joey
have been there, for better and for worse. For each other.
When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I’d fight away all of your fears
Joey grabs the note pad that Dawson gave her as a present. She opens it and
looks at the first blank page. Then she looks back to the window.
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
Dawson finally gets into the car and turns it on, his face taut. He starts
to drive backwards to get outside of the front yard, casting a last glance in
Joey’s direction.
You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I’m bound by the life you left behind
We see Joey grabbing a pencil, looking back and forth, from the picture of
her and Dawson to the notepad.
When you cried, I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I’d fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
As Dawson’s car gets lost in the distance as he drives away, Joey starts
drawing, with a melancholic, lingering smile on her face.
You still have… all of me
We see Dawson’s plane taking off into the sky
All of me
All of me…
CREDITS
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